Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Finding My Voice

When I started this blog back in October I thought I had a clear idea of what I wanted it to be.

I am now rethinking that clarity.

After an initial burst of posts about my own cardiac event and subsequent posts about other guy’s heart attack stories I began to run out of steam. To anyone who has been following this blog that is pretty obvious. My last post was almost a month ago when I graduated from cardiac rehab.

In a way that was a turning point for me. Once I had completed the rehabilitation I actually felt like my old self again. I am back running at a pace that is pretty darn close to my pre heart attack pace and I am seriously considering entering a 10K race this April.

That is not to say that I feel like I am cured. I realize that this would be pure folly. You don’t “cure” heart disease; you simply learn how to live with it.

I am learning how to live with it. I am much more cognizant of what I eat and drink and I no longer consider exercise to be an optional activity. I am growing comfortable with these changes too. Oh sure, I still miss the buzz of three cups of black, caffeine infused coffee. Decaf just doesn’t give me the same thrill. On the other hand, I really don’t miss fried food and I have found that I enjoy eating heart healthy. It actually makes me feel better!

Don’t get me wrong though. I am still no saint. I still enjoy drinking more than a couple glasses of wine and I have no intention of giving up steak. It is just that now I savor those indulgences a bit more. If I am going to have some wine it is going to be GOOD wine. The same goes for steak. If I am going to have a steak is going to be USDA Prime.

The bottom line is that I have adjusted to my new life with heart disease. I understand that there is a very real possibility that, no matter what preventive measures I take, I will have another heart attack at some point in my life. I have simply decided to accept my fate and get on with life.

So what about this blog then?

I have been told that depression is pretty common amongst people who have had a heart attack. A buddy of mine recently told me that depression is more prevalent in heart attack survivors than in cancer survivors.

Fortunately that has not been the case with me. I have a rather enlightened view of my new heart reality. I like poking fun at myself and being a little irreverent at times. Perhaps that is my own personal coping mechanism. Perhaps that is something that may help others in dealing with their own reality of life with heart disease.
So I guess I’ll continue here, sharing things I find that may be of interest about life with heart disease. In my mind this is kind of like a heart attack club but you don’t necessarily have to have had one to join.

3 comments:

Matt said...

Hi. I just wanted to let you know that I found your blog on a link from a thread at fark.com. I read it through from the beginning. Fascinating stuff.

I'm 28, and haven't had a heart attack, but when I was 26, I got my first PVC (pre/post ventricular contraction). It basically feels like your heart stops for a second, then you get a really heavy beat to make up for the lapse.

I drove myself to the hospital that night, convinced I was having a heart attack (if you don't have tightening of the chest muscles, by the time that much adrenaline gets through your system, you will!).

I went to what is probably the best heart hospital in the area (Riverside Methodist, in Columbus, OH) and they immediately set me up for an EKG. Isn't it amazing how you don't have to stand in line when you tell them you have chest pains?

Anyway, I really feel that I've got a jump on my cardiac health. I have had echo-cardiograms, ultrasounds (got to watch my heart beat. THAT was cool), stress tests, and even this thing where they injected my bloodstream with radioactive tracers and did live 3d imaging of my heart.

As it turns out, my heart is absolutely 100% grade-A fine. I always had a...maybe not phobia, but undercurrent of fear that I'd have one of those congenital heart defects that you always see really in-shape people die from, and now I've got scientific reassurance to the contrary.

I just wanted to post to say that I really enjoyed reading your blog, and I hope that you continue to post to it. It's great information, and to be honest, you answered a lot of questions I had but was afraid to ask people who have had heart attacks.

Take care and live well,

--Matt Simmons

wordbones said...

Matt,
Shame on me for not responding to your comment sooner. I sort of "fell off" posting to this blog for awhile.

Thank you for your comment. I am glad to hear that you are doing well and I hope you continue to do so.

-thag

Mal said...

Hi

I'm pleased you are doing so well, but have you hear of someone called Dr Caldwell Esselstyne?

If not, visit his site at www.heartattackproof.com and read the stories.

This guy, along with Dean Ornish have proven that you can ELIMINATE the chance of a heart attack and halt the progression of heart disease, and in some cases, reverse heart disease.

Obviously, the choice is yours, but what have you lose.....apart from those steaks you so love.

Whatver, I wish you good health moving forward.

Regards