Golf In Heaven

Two avid golfers are out on the links on beautiful spring day. While waiting for a foursome in front of them to finish up, one turns to the other and asks “Hey Roger, do you think there is golf in heaven?”

“I dunno,” Roger replies, “but if one of us gets there first and finds out, he should make an effort to communicate to the one still living and let them know.”

“It’s a deal,” Sam tells him and they continue their round of golf.

Two months later Sam suddenly drops dead from a heart attack, a few days after the funeral he comes to Roger in a dream.

“Hey Roger, I have some good news and bad news. The good news is that there is golf in heaven and the courses are unbelievable and you can play a different one everyday.”

“Jeez,” Roger dreams, “what could possibly be the bad news?”

Sam picks up Rogers thoughts and replies, “You have a tee time at 8:30 tomorrow morning.”

I heard this joke at my gym this morning. My personal trainer, an irascible Irishman named Tim Gallagher, told me the joke after we discussed the statistic I read on the Newsweek website that 850 people a day die in America from sudden heart attacks. That is more than breast cancer, lung cancer, stroke and AIDS combined.

I told Tim, who also happens to have a family history of heart disease, that it would probably be a good idea to make sure all of your affairs are in order since you never know when you could get one of those last minute tee times.

Heart Attack Video

Okay, this is admittedly sophomoric but it still gave me a good laugh. It qualifies for posting here because it is entitled “Heart Attack.”

Check out the woman at the end. She can toss a mean purse!

The Heart Attack Grill

Ya gotta love this place for its brutal honesty. They sell a Double Bypass Burger®, a Triple Bypass Burger® and a Quadruple Bypass Burger®. They proudly serve French fries that are deep fried in lard and the waitresses are called nurses. Upon request they will even wheel you out to your car in wheelchair after your meal.

They even sell cigarettes.

Of course you can get this kind of artery clogging food anywhere but I know of no other place that comes right out and calls it what it is. It seems to be good for business too. Go figure.

Speed Bump

click to enlarge

I am a big fan of Dave Coverly and his Speed Bump cartoon. This particular one really nailed how I often feel in the presence of my doctor.

I tore this panel from The Washington Post and asked Dave if I could post it here. He graciously consented.

Thanks Dave!